FLYING BACKWARDS
Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used “blow-up” dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man’s room and left them to their business.
CERTAIN AILMENTS
A group of Sun City Senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments:
“My arms are so weak I can barely hold a cup of coffee”, said one.
“Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee”, replied another.
“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck”, said a third, to which several nodded in agreement.
My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another went on.
“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
“Well, it’s not that bad” said one woman cheerfully. “Thank God, we can all still drive”!
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
COOL GRANDMA!
Yikes! Someone please tell grandma ‘being cool’ doesn’t mean being well-ventilated!
“OLD” IS WHEN….. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. An “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee!
